Friday, January 29, 2016

Freakin' A Friday!! 013 - Human Vortex Magnets

Has this happened to you?!

Have you ever been sucked into a human vortex magnet? 

No, I'm not talking about Facebook.  These are physical vortexes at specific locations that pull you down to the ground like a piece of metal coming close to a magnet and being sucked directly to it.

Yes, they exist!

In my experience, there are more that exist out in the woods.  You're running along, enjoying nature, ignoring the possibility of coming face to face with Mother Nature, and all of a sudden BAM!!  You are sucked directly to the ground, your breath is blown out of your lungs, and you're wildly trying to figure...  HUH?! 

Where am I?
I was running though the gorgeous green woods and now I'm not moving and staring at dirt.
Did someone hit me?
Is this a nightmare?

Nope!  Just another human vortex magnet trying to suck me into the deep crevices of the earth.  Gosh I hate when they do that!

I've managed to avoid being dragged into the dark depths, but not without battle wounds! 

Then again a couple months later on a sidewalk in broad daylight, it strikes again!

The battle was a win, but the war is NOT OVER!!  Bring it vortices!  You will not get me.

Freakin' A!!!

Friday, January 22, 2016

Freakin' A Friday!! 012 - Did I Do That?

Has this happened to you??

You're at the pool (or maybe on the trainer with your bike or out on a run at the track) just getting in your workout for the day.

You're just starting one of the main focus sets/intervals when the world decides that 'making this easy' is a step below you and BAM!!!!

...your Hulk strength breaks the paddle right from under your hand.  Someone up above is laughing at you, you swear it!

Gosh darnit!  
That's what I get for doing swim strength for four months straight.
(Not really.  That's what I get for gripping the paddle wrong!)

But what do I do now?!  I have a paddle set that I need to do.  The paddle is broken.  Do I swim with just one paddle?  Do I do the set without the paddle?  Do I go home because the world has sent me a sign that I'm done for the day?

Nope!  You grab your 2nd pair of paddles (oh-yes!  You're a Type A and have back ups [thanks to a review you're working on for additional paddles]) and say "Take That World!" as you continue on.  Of course you note in the training log that there was extra rest before that interval too.

Have you had equipment break (or not work) on you when you needed it?
What did you do?

Freakin' A!!!

Friday, January 15, 2016

Freakin' A Friday!! 011 - Rumbly in my Tumbly

Has it happened to you??

Maybe you're out on a long ride, a long morning run (without breakfast), somewhere in the middle of the open water, or just at the local gym on the other side of town lifting...


Your body starts talking to you.  Sure, at first it's just air moving around as chyme is moving out of your stomach via the pyloric sphincter into your duodenum (can you tell I'm brushing up on A&P and nutrition?). 

You reach for a gel, bar, chew, or the like and Gosh Darnit, you're out!

It doesn't even bother you.  Totally normal.  In fact, it means you're lighter than if you had eaten that extra snack/meal you considered earlier.  That means you're faster, right?  Awesome!!

Sure, it's loud, but it'll go away.  ...right?

I'll just drink some more water; fill up that space and take care of the Ghrelin signal that I'm hungry.  I'm so smart!!

I'm just too focused on it!  That's it!  If I can distract myself, it'll go away and won't have any effect.


I think my stomach is starting to eat itself.  Okay buddy, speed up here and we'll get home to eat quicker before it gets any worse!

Ah Hell, I've increased my metabolism and my innards are cannibalizing my other organs.

My body is going to become a black hole of hunger, consuming everything within reach and slowly sucking the universe into it's dark depths!!  Goodbye cruel world!!


Yup...  It's hunger.  Maybe you didn't get enough.  Maybe you didn't get the right thing.  Maybe you spilled most of it on your shirt.  However it happened, you are stranded with a constant nagging reminder of your hunger

To be honest, it always make me think of Pooh Bear and his constant search for hunny. 

Oh Bother!!

Friday, January 8, 2016

Freakin' A Friday!! 010 - "I Forgot"

Which is it?!

It's morning.  You wake up, get a quick bite to eat, and slowly get ready for your workout.  Of course there's a little procrastination in the speed of your preparations, but oh-well.  Fill a bottle, pack your bag, grab the Bodyglide, write down the workout...  You've got time.

Somewhere in the process you remember that you forgot to wash your bike shorts, left your wet swim suit at the bottom of the bag, failed to pick up the nutrition you knew you were out of, blanked on a meeting/appointment/errand that you had, or all of the above.  OMG!  What do I do?!

We've all done it!

The next five minutes (or two hours) are spent asking yourself a number of questions...

"What do I do?"
"Do I want to do it anyways?"
"Can I get away without doing it?"
"Will coach yell at me?"
"Will I feel bad if I just skip it?"
"Can I get it done LATER?"
"Maybe this is a sign"
"I'd be a badass if I do it anyways!"
"Bragging rights!!"
"...or I could take a nap!"

What to do!  What to do!  Which side will prevail?  The Type A Triathlete or the Type L (for lazy) Devil on your Shoulder?  Did you honestly forget something or was it your subconscious attempting to undermine your efforts?

"If I honestly forget it,
then my Type A side doesn't have to feel guilty!"

Nice try!

Freakin' A!!

Friday, January 1, 2016

Freakin' A Friday!! 009 - New Year, Same Old Me

Every year I hear it...

"Come out with us!"
"Stay up!  It's fun."
"Why are you in bed so early?!"
"You're no fun."

You know me!  I haven't changed.  I have work and workouts to do tomorrow. 

Early to bed = Early to Rise.

I do the same thing each of the other 364 days of the year.  Why are you surprised today?

Enjoy your New Year's Eve.  I'll enjoy my lack of a hangover on New Year's Day.

Freakin' A!!