You Are Your Own Worst Enemy

Yesterday I ran the 45th Annual Tradition Run 5k.  I had fun running the race.  As much fun as you can have climbing nearly half a mile of elevation gain in a 5k.  haha  But despite all the fun, I've been beating myself up over it since I got home yesterday.  Here's why...

This year, I ran the Tradition Run 5k in 25:09, an 8:08/mile pace.

In 2013, I ran the Tradition Run 5k in 22:09, a 7:09/mile pace.

Now, why does that bother me?  Because I am naturally competitive.  Because I had no preconceived reason to believe that I would be any slower than last year and therefore assumed the times would be comparable.  Because I am still fighting the instinct to simply be better, faster, stronger, at every race and workout.  I know it's not possible and it's not how we build fitness.  I tell my clients that every day.  But it's still my gut instinct. 

WHY?!

Why do I do this to myself?  I know that everyone has up and down days.  I know that we all can't PR at every race.  I knew early on in the race that the roads were covered more this year than last, making my strides shorter.  And I never expected to be better than last year.  But for some reason, adding 3 whole minutes to that time makes me feel like I've gone backwards.

As of today, I'm feeling better; as I knew I would.  Time makes the heart forget.  I know if there is a lack of fitness, NOW is the time to have it and it's okay.  I know that I have a long road ahead of me before I get to my A-races for the year.  I also know that as long as I don't injure myself like I did last year, I'll be well ahead of 2013 when I get to June.  But a small part of me is still saying that that doesn't matter TODAY.  Yes it does!!

Today is not my A-race.  I could be back of the pack every day up until June.  As long as I am in shape and ready by race day, it doesn't matter where I'm at before or after that.  I just have to get my gut to follow along. 

I am my own worst enemy.

And I need to shut him up!

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Questions:
1.  Have you ever beat yourself up over a race result you didn't expect?
I've had disappointing race results, but each one I knew of as it was unfolding.  I knew my first ironman fell apart right off the run.  I knew my 2nd Ironman fell apart on the bike.  I knew my first marathon fell apart at the half way point.  I knew this year's Hartford marathon fell apart about half way.  I've always seen it coming and had the rest of the race to reconcile it in my head.  This 5k didn't hit me until it was done and over with. 

2.  How competitive are you?  Will you match speeds on a treadmill with the person next to you?
Most people who run next to me on a treadmill won't come near my speed, but if they do, yes, I do want to beat them.  

3.  How do you approach pre-season races?
I'm all ears for advice on how to avoid or curb my gut instinct.

DREAM.  BELIEVE.  ACHIEVE.